My Real Journey to Financial Stability

I will warn you- This post is a little on the lengthy side but definitely worth the read!

Let me be real with you – as a working single mom, I know exactly how it feels when your paycheck seems to disappear before you even get it. There have been plenty of nights when I’ve served my teenagers’ ramen noodles for dinner, and times when choosing between paying a bill and buying groceries kept me up at night. But over the years, I’ve learned some practical ways to manage money better, even on an LPN’s salary (and yes, we all know what LPN really stands for – “Low-Paid Nurse”!). I’m not writing this from the finish line – I’m still working on my own debt-free journey. But I want to share what’s actually working for me, hoping it might help you too.

Managing your finances can feel overwhelming. It can be hard to know where to begin. But the good news is, you don’t need to have everything figured out at once. By taking small, manageable steps, you can build a strong financial foundation for yourself and your family. 

There is so much that goes into financial wellness. But I will try to simplify it as much as I can. 

Step 1: Develop a Positive Money Mindset

Let’s talk about something that took me years to understand – your relationship with money plays a huge role in your financial wellness.  As a teen mom, I spent years telling myself stories that held me back: “Nurses don’t make enough,” “Single moms are always broke,” “I’ll never get ahead.” Sound familiar? 

It took me a long time to realize that, in order to attract money, you have to think positively about money. Your mindset about money plays a crucial role in your financial success. Here’s how to cultivate a healthy relationship with money:

• Believe in Abundance: Shift from a scarcity mindset (focusing on lack) to an abundance mindset (believing there’s enough for everyone). This can help you feel more confident about pursuing financial goals.
• Reframe Limiting Beliefs: Identify any negative thoughts about money (e.g., “I’ll never get out of debt”) and replace them with positive affirmations (e.g., “I am capable of managing my money wisely”).
• Replace “I can’t afford it” with “How can I afford it?”: Instead of immediately saying no when my kids needed something, I started looking for creative solutions. Sometimes this meant picking up an extra shift or finding a less expensive alternative.
• Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate small wins, like sticking to your budget or saving an extra $50, to reinforce positive habits.
• Learn From Mistakes: Instead of dwelling on financial missteps, view them as learning opportunities to improve your future decisions.
• Stop comparing your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20: When I see other nurses or moms who seem to have it all together financially, I remind myself that I don’t know their whole story. I’m writing my own.

A positive money mindset can empower you to take control of your finances with confidence and resilience. If you want to dig deeper into creating a positive money mindset, I highly suggest reading the book The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housell.

Step 2: Get Real About Your Money Situation

Before I could fix my financial mess, I had to face it head-on. Trust me, this wasn’t fun – especially realizing how much I was spending on takeout! Before you can improve your finances, you need to know where you stand. Take a moment to gather and review:

• Income: Write down all sources of income, including your salary, child support, alimony, or government assistance.
• Expenses: Track your spending for a month to see where your money is going. Divide expenses into fixed (e.g., rent, utilities) and variable (e.g., groceries, entertainment). I downloaded an app called Rocket Money. This actually keeps track of my spending and tells me how much I spent on groceries, dining, entertainment etc. This app helped me realize that I was spending $400 a month on Takeout!
• Debts: List all your debts, including credit cards, car loans, and medical bills, along with their interest rates and minimum payments. This was scary for me at first, but knowing the real numbers helped me make a plan.
• Savings: Note how much you currently have in savings, including emergency funds, retirement accounts, or other investments. Be honest about your savings (even if it’s zero – that’s where I started too).

Step 3: Set Meaningful Financial Goals

When I first started reading financial advice, all the talk about “setting ambitious goals” made me want to throw my phone across the room. How was I supposed to think about retirement when I was trying to figure out how to afford new school shoes? But after reading up on it, I’ve discovered how to break my goals down into Short-term, Medium-term, and long-term goals. Having clear goals can keep you motivated and focused. Here are some of mine:

• Short-Term Goals: Save for holiday gifts, school supplies, and a small vacation.
• Medium-Term Goals: Pay off my credit cards, save for a down payment on a bigger house, and create an emergency savings fund.
• Long-Term Goals: Build a retirement fund and pay off student loans

After you discover what your goals are, break them into actionable steps. For example, if you want to save $1,000 in a year, aim to set aside $84 per month. This will help you reach your goals without getting overwhelmed by the big scary goal. 

Step 4: Create a Budget That Actually Works

Now that you know what your financial goals are, it’s time to create a budget and make them happen. A well-structured budget will help you prioritize your spending, save for the future, and ensure you’re meeting your family’s needs.

The 50/30/20 rule is a good rule of thumb. This method allocates 50% of your income to needs (e.g., housing, groceries), 30% to wants (e.g., dining out), and 20% to savings and debt repayment. This is great in theory, but let’s be real – sometimes as single moms, we’re just trying to keep the lights on. Start wherever you are. When I began, it was more like 80/10/10, and that’s okay. The goal is progress, not perfection. But if your bills are 80% of your income, it’s time to cut expenses and increase your income. That is what I had to do.

When creating your budget, make sure to prioritize needs over wants. If your budget is tight, focus on covering essentials first.

In case you are wondering, yes, you absolutely can save and invest while paying down debt—it’s something I’m doing right now. Currently, about 50% of my income goes toward bills. I allocate 20% to paying off my credit cards and another 20% to groceries, food, and other wants. We’ve significantly reduced our spending to make this work.

While I can’t contribute much to savings or retirement accounts at the moment, I believe that every little bit counts. Right now, I’m putting $50 a month into both my savings and retirement accounts. Once my credit cards are fully paid off, my plan is to adjust my budget so I can allocate 5% of my income to savings, 5% to a Roth IRA, and 5% to my 401(k).

When setting a budget, make sure you track your progress and reevaluate your budget regularly. 

Budgeting as a single mom might take time to get used to, but with a bit of effort, it can be incredibly empowering. By prioritizing essential expenses, setting realistic savings goals, and adjusting your spending habits, you’ll feel more confident in your financial future. Remember, every small step you take will add up over time, and you are in control of your financial destiny!

For more in-depth details on how to create a budget, read my post Budgeting Tips for Moms: How to Create a Budget

Step 5: Start That Emergency Fund (Even if It’s Just $5)

Life is unpredictable, and having a financial safety net can reduce stress during tough times. When starting an emergency fund, aim to save:

• $500 to $1,000 Initially: This amount can cover unexpected expenses like car repairs or medical bills.
• 3 to 6 Months of Expenses Over Time: Once your immediate goals are met, work toward a larger cushion.
• Start Small: Even setting aside $10 or $20 per paycheck adds up over time. Gradually increase the amount over time.
• Celebrate EVERY win – my first $100 in savings felt like winning the lottery!

One time my car broke down on the way to work. Yeah, that $500 repair nearly broke me. Since then, I’ve learned that even a small emergency fund can make a huge difference. Start with saving just $10 or $20 from each paycheck. Right now I can only do $25 each payday. 

To keep me from just transferring money from my savings to my checking account,  – I literally hide this money from myself in a separate bank! This little tip has helped a lot! It now takes 3 days to transfer money instead of 3 seconds. So I have not taken money out of my savings.

If you want to set up a savings account, I highly recommend Ally Bank. It is completely online and has an APY of 3.8%!! This is what I recently opened. If you use my Referral Link, you can get $100 when you open an account and set recurring monthly payments! You will receive the money after your 3rd monthly automatic deposit. and I will get a $50 bonus. (Who’s getting the better deal here? lol) https://ally.com/referral?code=9J2P2V9H3R

Step 6: Tackle That Debt (Even When It Feels Impossible)

Did you know that if you have $10,000 in credit card debt with an APR of 27% (which is almost average for credit cards), if you only pay the minimum each month it will take you 17 years to pay it off and several thousand dollars in interest on top of the $10,000 you owe?!?!?

This realization was a shocker to me. No wonder I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere even though I was paying every month. But I have found some ways to start paying it off. I am still far from being debt-free, but I’m now making more progress than I was initially.  Here are some methods I have found to pay down debt:

• Debt Snowball Method: Pay off the smallest debt first for quick wins, then move on to the next. Then take the money you were putting towards it, and apply to the next card.
• Debt Avalanche Method: Focus on paying off debts with the highest interest rates first to save money in the long run. This is what I’m currently doing.
• Velocity Banking: Use a line of credit or HELOC (Home Equity Line of Credit) strategically to pay down high-interest credit card debt faster. The concept involves using the line of credit to pay off a chunk of debt and then redirecting your income to pay down the line of credit, reducing overall interest payments. This method requires careful planning and discipline, but it can accelerate debt repayment.
• Negotiate or Consolidate: Call creditors to negotiate lower interest rates or explore debt consolidation options. I did’nt even know this was an option until I read Ramit Sethi’s book I Will Teach You To Be Rich. So give it a try. The worst they can say is no!

Step 7: Start Investing for the Future

Let me be honest – as a single mom, retirement planning was never on my radar. I was too busy figuring out how to stretch my paycheck to cover my monthly bills. But something changed when I turned 35. Maybe it was working in long-term care, but reality hit me hard: I’ve got about 30 years until retirement, and I haven’t even started planning for it.

Here’s the thing that keeps me up at night – I’ve seen the other side of this story firsthand. As a nurse in long-term care, I’ve watched elderly patients get moved out because their money ran out. I’ve seen the stress on their faces, the burden on their families. That hit home for me. I don’t want my kids dealing with that worry when I’m older, and I definitely don’t want to end up in that situation myself.

My Retirement Wake-Up Call

I put off starting a 401(k) for years because, let’s be real, I didn’t plan to stay at any job forever. Every time I thought about it, I’d tell myself “I’ll start at my next job” or “Maybe when things aren’t so tight.” But here’s what I finally learned – job-hopping doesn’t mean you can’t save for retirement. Those 401(k) funds aren’t stuck at your old job! You can roll them over into something called an IRA (Individual Retirement Account) when you leave.

After doing some research, I decided to open a Roth IRA. I won’t bore you with all the technical details, but here’s what made me choose it:

• The money grows tax-free
• In a real emergency, I can take out what I put in without penalties
• I can’t touch the earnings until I’m 59½ (which is probably good, because it removes the temptation!)
• You can choose what to invest your IRA in. Sometimes with a 401k, you don’t get to choose. ( I will write another post soon about how to pick an investment. There are hundreds of books on this topic and I’m trying to keep this short-ish)

Being Real About Where I’m At

The experts say we should be putting away 5% of our income for retirement. But you know what? Right now, that’s not happening. I’m focusing on crushing my debt first, and that’s okay. I started small – really small – but I’m starting. Because something is better than nothing, and “later” sometimes turns into “never.” 

I have also stopped beating myself up for starting late – we’re all doing the best we can. Remember, it’s never too late to start thinking about retirement. Whether you’re 25, 35, or older, the best time to start is now. Even if “starting” just means opening an account with a tiny monthly contribution. ($50 is all I can do right now)

Action Steps

 Investing might sound intimidating, but it’s one of the most effective ways to build long-term wealth. Start small and explore these options:

• 401(k): If your employer offers a 401(k) plan, contribute enough to take advantage of any matching contributions. It’s essentially free money for your retirement.
• Roth IRA: Open a Roth IRA account to save for retirement with after-tax dollars. Your investments grow tax-free, and withdrawals in retirement are also tax-free.
• Start Small: Even $50 a month can grow significantly over time thanks to compound interest.

To make investing a habit, automate your contributions. Many apps and brokerages allow you to set up recurring deposits into your investment accounts.

Step 8: Automate Your Paycheck Contributions

Managing your paycheck effectively can help you stay on top of your financial goals. After years of juggling bills and trying to remember payment due dates, I finally got smart about organizing my paycheck. 

First of all, I have 4 different bank accounts. Don’t let this scare you! It is not as complicated as you are thinking. 3 of those accounts are at the same bank and my High-Yield savings account is held in my Ally account online. I have my regular checking account, My Bill account, and my Business account.

Here’s how I divide my money:

• Checking Account: Every dollar I make goes into this account. On payday, I move money to the appropriate accounts such as bill account, savings, and Roth IRA.
• Bill Money: I calculated all my monthly bills and divided them by two (since I get paid bi-weekly). That amount goes into a separate account automatically. This is my bill account. All of my bills come out automatically. No more panic when rent is due!
• Savings: Allocate a percentage to an emergency fund or specific savings goals. I put $50 a month into my savings,  so just $25 from each paycheck gets moved to my savings in a whole different bank. This way I am less likely to dip into it.
• Investing: Contributions to my 401(k) are done before I even get my paycheck. So in my eyes, I don’t even see this money, therefore I do not miss it. I contribute just $50 a month to my Roth IRA. So again this is just $25 a paycheck that automatically gets moved to my Retirement account.
• Spending Money: When I created my budget, I carefully calculated how much I normally spend, and figured out where I could cut my expenses. I know how much to spend on things such as groceries, dining out, entertainment, and other variable expenses. I have a very strict budget at the moment. I use the app Rocket Money to help me stay within budget. This is similar to the “envelope method” but digital. My spending money stays in the original checking account.
• Debt repayment: The minimum balance due on my credit cards comes out of my Bill Account. Anything left in my spending account that is more than my budget,  goes towards paying down my credit card debt. Of all the debt repayment methods, I have chosen to pay down the card with the highest interest first. I know this method will take longer, but it will save me the most money in the long run. 

A huge tip is to put everything on Auto! The only thing that I have to worry about, is moving a certain amount to my bill account on payday. Everything comes out automatically including my bills, savings, and retirement contributions! Then I look to see how much is left in my checking account. Anything above the budget I have set, I put towards my Credit Cards. By automating these, I ensure that my financial goals are met consistently without having to think about it each month.

Step 9: Get Help When You Need It (Because You’re Not Alone)

Here’s something they don’t teach you in nursing school – it’s okay to need help with your finances. Just like we tell our patients to seek help when they need it, the same goes for our financial health. Here are some resources that have been lifesavers for me:

Programs That Actually Help:

• SNAP benefits – yes, I’ve used them, and they helped me feed my kids during nursing school. No shame in that game. I no longer qualify, however.
• Your local United Way – they often know about resources specifically for single moms
• Employee assistance programs – many offer financial counseling (I found this out way too late!)
• Local food banks – they helped us through some really tough months

Professional Development Support:

• Nursing continuing education grants – these saved me money on required certifications
• Single parent scholarships – they exist! I found several while in nursing school
• Career advancement programs – many hospitals offer tuition assistance for LPNs wanting to become RNs
• Financial Aid- This was a huge help when I was in nursing school

Here is a tip that I wish I would have learned sooner: DON’T TAKE OUT STUDENT LOANS UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO!! 

Student loans nearly ruined my life – trust me on this one. In my younger days, I took out every loan I could get without understanding the consequences. Big mistake. These loans follow you forever – they can’t be discharged in bankruptcy, and the government will garnish your wages and tax returns if you default. I learned this the hard way when I almost lost my apartment because of wage garnishment. Be smarter than I was: only take student loans if you absolutely have no other choice. Unless I become a millionaire, I will be paying on these until I die.

Step 10: Use Those Apps (Because Every Dollar Counts!)

As a single-income household with two teenagers, I’ve learned to squeeze value out of every single purchase. Those 12-hour shifts are exhausting enough without worrying about money, right? Keep in mind that there are several of these apps nowadays. But these are the ones that I personally use. 

• Ibotta: This is my go-to for grocery shopping. Between my kids’ endless appetite and my work lunches, our grocery bills were killing me until I started using this. This app gives you actual cashback on certain grocery and household items. Most of these items are things that I purchase anyway.  I keep my receipts and scan them during my lunch breaks. In December, I cashed out over $100 and used it for my kids’ Christmas.
• Fetch Rewards: Scan your receipts from any store to earn points that can be redeemed for gift cards. You earn more points for certain items. But every receipt is worth at least 25 points.  I keep every receipt and trust me, those points add up fast. You can also earn points by downloading games on your phone. Right now I am addicted to the Bingo Blitz game, and I earn points for playing it. Pretty cool right?
• Upside: Upside allows you to earn cashback on gas and some dining. I only use this one for gas and Little Ceasars. It’s not much, but every little bit helps.

These apps are free to use and can add up to significant savings over time. Set a reminder to scan your receipts regularly so you don’t miss out on rewards.

Step 11: Increasing Your Income: A Necessary Step in Today’s World

I know that as a single mom, the idea of finding ways to increase your income might feel overwhelming—especially when you’re already juggling so much. But with rising inflation and the cost of living steadily increasing, it’s more important than ever to explore opportunities to bring in extra money. Even small increases in income can make a big difference in easing financial stress, building an emergency fund, or paying down debt faster.

While it’s not easy, it is doable, and you don’t have to do everything at once. Start small and focus on what fits into your life. Perhaps it’s taking on a side hustle that aligns with your skills or selling items you no longer need. You could also explore ways to advance in your current job or learn new skills to open doors to higher-paying opportunities. This is what I had to do. 

Despite loving my job at an Assisted Living Facility, the low pay had me using credit cards just to buy groceries, racking up over $10,000 in debt. My anxiety about leaving held me back, but I finally applied to a skilled facility – and they offered me $9 more per hour! Switching jobs was scary, but it turned out to be the best decision I’ve made. Now I can afford groceries without credit cards and I’m actually paying down my debt. Sometimes the scariest choice leads to the biggest reward!

Start a Side Hustle

Starting a side gig can be a game-changer for single moms looking to boost their income. Whether it’s freelancing, selling handmade crafts, tutoring, or even starting a small online business, the possibilities are endless. The best part? There are countless free resources, like YouTube, to guide you every step of the way. From learning how to start an Etsy shop to mastering skills like graphic design or social media management, you can find tutorials for just about anything. With some creativity and determination, a side gig can become a reliable way to earn extra money and even open the door to new opportunities.

The key is to take it one step at a time, celebrate small wins, and remember that every bit of extra income can help you create more financial stability for yourself and your children. You’re not alone in this journey, and you have the strength to make it work.

By taking small, intentional steps to increase your income, you can create more financial stability, reduce stress, and build a brighter future for yourself and your family.

Step 12: Educate Yourself About Personal Finance

Knowledge is power when it comes to managing your money. Just like I learned medical terminology one word at a time, I’m learning about money management in bite-sized pieces. Here are some ways to learn more:

• Books: Read beginner-friendly personal finance books like The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey or You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero. Some of my personal favorites have been I Will Teach You to Be Rich, The Simple Path to Wealth, and The Psychology of Money.
• Podcasts and Blogs: Follow personal finance experts who focus on single moms or budgeting.  (yes, I actually read other blogs during my breaks!)
• Courses: Enroll in free or low-cost online courses to improve your financial literacy. I have not personally dont this because you can learn anything on YouTube for free!

The key is finding resources that fit your real life. I’m not sitting down for hours to study finance – I’m learning in the small moments between work, kids, and life. 

You don’t always have to read a book. You can listen! I listen to audible books while doing household chores such as dishes and laundry. You know, the boring stuff. You can also listen in the car on your commute to work. 

If you don’t have money for audible books, there are hundreds of podcasts and YouTube videos that you can listen to. I have learned a lot on YouTube. Everything from budgeting to explaining how the stock market works.  In fact, Ramit Sethi the Author of my favorite financial book, I Will Teach You to be Rich, has a YouTube channel! I even learned how to start a blog on YouTube.

Step 13: Stay Consistent and Celebrate Small Wins

Building financial wellness takes time, so be patient with yourself. Celebrate progress, whether it’s paying off a credit card, sticking to your budget, or saving your first $100. Every step forward is a win for you and your family.

Let me be real with you – there are still days when I feel like I’m failing at this whole money thing. Days when an unexpected bill throws off my careful planning, or when I have to say no to something my kids want. But here’s what keeps me going:

Small Wins Worth Celebrating:

• The first time I had $100 in savings without touching it for a whole month
• Paying all my bills on time for three months straight
• Teaching my teenagers about budgeting (they’re actually getting it!)
• Finding ways to have fun without spending money (movie nights at home with microwave popcorn can be just as good as the theater)

What I’ve Learned Along the Way:

• Progress isn’t linear – sometimes you take two steps forward and one step back
• Every mom’s journey looks different – what works for someone else might not work for you. Do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 10.
• It’s okay to have “ramen noodle weeks” – they don’t last forever
• Small changes add up over time (just like those extra shifts I pick up at the hospital)

Final Thoughts

Here’s the truth – I’m not a financial guru. I’m just a single mom and nurse trying to create a better life for my kids. Taking control of your finances as a single mom may seem daunting, but it’s absolutely possible. By following these steps, you can create a more secure and stable future for yourself and your children. Remember, progress is more important than perfection. Start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can. Whether you’re just starting your financial journey or trying to get back on track, remember this: you’re stronger than you think. You’ve got this!

I’d love to hear your story – what financial challenges are you facing? What tips have worked for you? What negative money stories are you ready to let go of? Share in the comments – sometimes just naming them takes away their power! Drop a comment below and let’s support each other on this journey. 💜

P.S. – Want more real talk about money, motherhood, and making it all work? Don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips and stories from my ongoing journey. And yes, sometimes I’ll tell you about the fails too – because that’s just real life!💜